Friday Funny: 10 Worst Cities For A Zombie Apocalypse

How well will your organization survive a zombie apocalypse? It may all depend on where your facility is located. Office near a cemetery? Good luck – especially if you’re in Providence, RI.

How well will your organization survive a zombie apocalypse? Despite all your efforts to prepare your facility for such an event, it may all come down where you’re located.

zombie-apocalypse
Trulia has mapped out the worst places to be in the event of a zombie apocalypse. In the map above, the threat level ranges from low (green) to very high (dark red). Click image to enlarge. (Credit: Trulia)

Just in time for Halloween, Trulia has — literally — mapped out the worst places to be in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Using a combination of logic and paranormal capabilities, the residential real estate website has created public information maps which show areas that are most at risk during a zombie apocalypse, as well as other unnatural hazards such as a vampire attack or ghostly haunting.

Where To Avoid The Walking Dead

Whatever you call them– zombies, walkers, biters, cold bodies, creepers, dead ones, or roamers – it’s no laughing matter when a dead body becomes reanimated and wants to eat you for lunch.

To determine a specific location’s risk for a zombie infestation, Trulia used cemetery locations from the U.S. Census and combined that information with OpenStreetMap’s tagged cemeteries to create a detailed cemetery base map. From these data points, Trulia calculated degrees of risk based on the minimum distance to a cemetery for every block group in the country.

Office near a cemetery? Good luck – especially if you’re in Providence, RI. Looking at all major urban areas with more than 800,000 people, the worst places to be in the event of a zombie apocalypse were identified based on the number of cemeteries per 50,000 people.

zombie-apocalypse
Credit: Trulia

10 Worst Cities To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

  1. Providence, RI-MA: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 11.5
  2. Nashville – Davidson, TN: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 8.6
  3. Hartford, CT: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 7.6
  4. Bridgeport-Stamford, CT-NY: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 7.2
  5. Boston, MA-NH-RI: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 6.3
  6. Pittsburgh, PA: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 5.5
  7. Cincinnati, OH-KY-IN: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 5.4
  8. Atlanta, GA: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 5.2
  9. Indianapolis, IN: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 5.1
  10. Cleveland, OH: Cemeteries per 50,000 people: 4.1

Zombies aren’t the only threat taken into account: Based on the basic premise that vampires will congregate in areas where blood is readily available, Trulia created a vampire threat map. Examining all major urban areas with more than 800,000 people, Trulia identified the worst places to live if vampires start to walk the earth based on the number of hospitals and blood banks per 50,000 people.

10 Worst Cities To Survive A Vampire Uprising

  1. San Diego, CA: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 3.2
  2. Austin, TX: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 3.0
  3. San Francisco – Oakland, CA: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.5
  4. Louisville/Jefferson County, KY-IN: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.4
  5. New Orleans, LA: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.3
  6. Oklahoma City, OK: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.3
  7. Boston, MA-NH-RI: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.2
  8. Seattle, WA: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.2
  9. San Antonio, TX: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.2
  10. Phoenix – Mesa, AZ: Blood banks and hospitals per 50,000 people: 2.2

Finally, Trulia took a look at ghosts, which tend to cluster in haunted places. Based on “a very scientific survey. And not at all random,” Trulia created its list of where you are most likely to encounter a ghost.

Top 10 Cities For Ghostly Encounters

  1. New Orleans, LA: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 1.1
  2. Seattle, WA: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 1.0
  3. Kansas City, MO-KS: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.9
  4. Providence, RI-MA: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.9
  5. Hartford, CT: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.9
  6. Portland, OR-WA: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.8
  7. Salt Lake City-West Valley City, UT: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.8
  8. Indianapolis, IN: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.8
  9. Louisville/Jefferson County, KY-IN: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.8
  10. Baltimore, MD: Spooky places per 50,000 people: 0.7