This week’s Friday Funny is just plain silly. It comes from the Web site, CorporateDump.com.
The idea is to score the most points. Your attempts need to be verified by another co-worker. See how many points you can score in one eight hour shift.
One point gags:
Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Ignore the first five people who say “Good Morning” to you.
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”
In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out “Yahtzee!”
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding the elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Three point gags:
Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him/her with double-barreled fingers.
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask “Did you get all that? I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Five point gags:
At the end of a meeting suggest that for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (2 extra points f you actually break into song) (5 extra points if you start singing another nation’s anthem).
Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch off and on 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as ‘Bob’.
After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “The report is on your desk, mon.” Keep this up for an hour.
While an office mate is out, move his or her chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
At lunch time get down on your knees and announce “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!”
In a colleague’s diary, write in 10:00 am.: “See how I look in tights.”
Carry your keyboard over to a colleague and ask “You wanna trade?”
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
Come into work wearing army fatigues and when asked why, say “I can’t talk about it.”
Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
Hang a two foot piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised (or perfectly calm) when someone points it out.
Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, say, “Not now,” and walk away.
(FacilityBlog does not recommend you do this yourself; however, as a facility manager, you should be aware of the following activities and be on guard.)