Friday Funny: These Are A Few Of My Least Favorite Things

From burnt popcorn to bad budgets, Charles C. Carpenter, CFM gifts us with a holiday musical parody that highlights his least favorite things, facility management style.

MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

A Facility Management-Inspired Interpretation For The Holidays
by Charles C. Carpenter, CFM

facility management
Credit: Martin Poole

(To be sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from the movie, The Sound of Music)

Raindrops on servers and a feral kitten
FedEx packages astray in Great Britain
Hung from sprinkler heads more Christmas light strings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things.

Broke irrigation and refrigerators
Burnt out light bulbs and loose alligators
Furniture panels stained by buffalo wings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things.

Thermostat hackers who alter your setpoints
Burnt microwave popcorn that stinks up the joint
No copy paper or elevator dings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things.

facility management
Photo: Brian Turner

Fire alarms, toilet bowl rings
When budgets are bad,
I somehow remember these terrible things
And now I don’t feel so glad.

Cocoa-stained carpets and foul fumes from lacquers
Cheap cologne masking millennial slackers
Broken urinals that flows like new springs
These aren’t a few of my favorite things.

OSHA Inspectors and Working this weekend
Candy and Coke machines that just will not vend
Wild geese that attack workers with their wings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things.

Stained ceiling tiles and some missing blueprints
Hot calls and cold calls from the same departments
Missing my connecting flight in Beijing
These aren’t a few of my favorite things.

Fire alarms, toilet bowl rings
When budgets are bad,
I somehow remember these terrible things
And now I don’t feel soooooo glad.

facility management

If this post has put you in the mood to watch the 1965 classic movie, The Sound of Music, it will air this Sunday, December 17 at 7:00PM on ABC.

Happy Holidays!