Friday Funny: The Dog Ate My Car Keys

More workers are calling in sick when they’re not ill. Some feel the need to concoct an unbelievable excuse, according to CareerBuilder’s annual survey.

Despite 54% of workers having a paid time off (PTO) program which rolls sick, vacation, and personal days together, nearly three in five workers who have PTO say they feel obligated to make up an excuse for taking a day off. Sometimes, those excuses are a bit hard for their employers to swallow, according to a recent CareerBuilder survey.

When asked to share the most dubious excuses workers have given for calling in sick, employers shared the following:

calling in sick excuse
Credit: George Doyle
  • A bear was in employee’s yard and they were afraid to come out.
  • Employee’s phone exploded and it hurt their hand.
  • Employee ate a toothpick in his food at restaurant.
  • Employee broke his arm wrestling a female bodybuilder.
  • Employee called in “fat” because uniform didn’t fit.
  • Dog swallowed employee’s car keys so she was waiting until it came out.
  • Employee left his clothes at the laundromat.
  • Employee did not have enough gas to get to work.
  • Employee had to re-schedule a new manicure because some of their artificial nails fell off.
  • Employee was not sure how the solar eclipse would affect them so it would be safer to stay at home.

If you just don’t feel like going into work and need a mental health day, you’re not alone. According to CareerBuilder, 40 percent of workers have called in sick in the last 12 months when they weren’t, compared to 35 percent in 2016 and 38 percent in 2015. Female workers were more likely than their male counterparts to take sick days when they were well – 43 percent to 35 percent respectively.

While they may not necessarily be sick, 30 percent of workers who have called in sick cite having a doctor’s appointment as the top reason to take a sick day, followed by just didn’t feel like going to work (23 percent), needing to relax (20 percent), and needing to catch up on sleep (15 percent). Running errands (14 percent), catching up on housework (8 percent), and plans with family and friends (8 percent) also appeared on the list.

Caught In The Act

If you’re going to concoct a story to explain your absence from work, it’s a good idea to make sure you cover your tracks, especially on social media. Over a third of employers (38 percent) have checked up on a worker who called in sick to make sure he or she was actually sick, and 26 percent have fired a worker for calling in sick with a fake excuse (up from 22 percent last year). Forty-three percent have caught an employee lying about being sick by checking out their social media posts, up from 34 percent last year.

When checking up on an employee who called in sick, 64 percent of employers required a doctor’s note, 46 percent called the employee, 25 percent had another worker call the employee, and 22 percent drove by their house or apartment.

“Life is busy – and occasionally taking time off is necessary in order to show up to work mentally and physically prepared to have a positive impact on productivity,” said Rosemary Haefner, CHRO of CareerBuilder. “Your reputation is very important and you should always be upfront and honest with your boss about the time you need off. Outlandish excuses for calling off work can raise red flags and can lead to trust issues, so avoid them at all costs.”

Truly Sick? Stay Home!

Even though it can be tempting to go to work while you’re sick, you and your co-workers are better off keeping your germs at home. Over a third of workers (37 percent) come into the office when they are under the weather so they can save their sick days for when they are feeling well. Fifty-eight percent say they come into work when they’re sick because otherwise the work won’t get done, and 48 percent come into work because they can’t afford to miss a day of pay.