Friday Funny: Will You Survive A Zombie Apocalypse?

If you live in California, the odds are in your favor. But if you reside in Nevada, you have our condolences.

zombie apocalypse
(Photo: Pixabay)

With Halloween less than two weeks away, many of our thoughts are turning to ghosts, witches, vampires, and America’s favorite monsters, zombies. Do you ever wonder how you’d survive if America were hit by a zombie apocalypse? Do you contemplate whether you would be better off hitting the road or staying put? Thanks to the staff at CableTV.com—who pulled data on self-reliance based on agriculture, weapon ownership, solar energy, and climate to figure out the odds of surviving in each state—you no longer have to wonder about the best place to survive a zombie apocalypse.

If you’re lucky enough to already live in a Zone 1 state, there’s no need to hit the road in search of safety. But if your state falls on the list of Zone 4 states, better get your bug-out bag ready to avoid the undead! See below…

zombie apocalypse
(Source: CableTV.com)

Turns out, your odds for survival are greatest in California, and lowest in Nevada. Despite being neighbors, the states will fare very differently in a zombie attack due to California’s agriculture and solar energy.

Looking at it from a regional perspective, the most zombie-survivable area of the U.S. is the Midwest. Thanks primarily to its widespread food production, it’s home to a cluster of Zone 1 and Zone 2 states. The entire New England region, unfortunately, lands in Zone 4.

Finding food (besides other humans) will be critical during a zombie apocalypse, and two of the most shelf-stable foods around are Hostess Twinkies and instant ramen. Sure, the nutritional value of these foods is questionable, but beggars can’t be choosers and living on junk food is surely preferable to being condemned to a future of feasting on human flesh.

If you’re in search of Twinkies, Hostess has three Twinkie bakeries in the U.S.:

  • Emporia, KS
  • Columbus, GA
  • Indianapolis, IN

If instant ramen is more suited to your survivalist diet, here’s where you’re least likely to run out, based on demographic data from Maruchan:

zombie apocalypse
(Source: CableTV.com)

Read more about how to survive a zombie apocalypse and CableTV.com’s doomsday data here.


1 COMMENT

  1. I call BS on this Analysis! This takes no consideration into population density ravaging resources. California Population has to be considered against survivability. One must look at virus transmission rates with varying population density. Also, trying to farm land with a Zombie apocalypse?! Creating large safe zones for farming will not be possible, again making California less able to sustain itself. From Sacramento North will fair far better than South of there. Lower population density areas will fair far better, as fewer people means virus transmission will be harder to accomplish. I do agree the North East part of the country is done for, but would add to the list of being hard to survive would be Florida (population density of old people whom would be quick prey to the infected).

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