FRIDAY FUNNY: Some Post-Hurricane Humor

Photo: Heidi Schwartz

This is the first day since Hurricane Sandy that our physical offices have been fully functional, and many members of the TFM team are still in the process of limping toward a state of normalcy. Some are still without electricity, and others are dealing with flooding, tree damage, or other unpleasant realities.

A great number of facility professionals in this area are dealing with the very same thing…but on an even greater scale. Priorities regarding disaster recovery are always a challenge for facility managers. Should they attend to the needs of their own families? Or do they deal with the needs of their facilities first?

It may take a while to start to feel better and settle into a routine again, and people will respond differently based on their personal experiences. So many facility managers in this area have been affected by this disaster, and there is no simple way to make things better immediately. But in keeping with the adage, “laughter is the best medicine,” here are few humorous thoughts courtesy of Peter Bance, CLAS Consultant/Information Security Adviser and source of the Friday Funny Internet List, to help make the mood a little lighter and brighter.

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
  4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  5. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  6. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  7. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  8. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  9. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  10. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  11. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  12. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  13. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
  14. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  15. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  16. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  17. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
  18. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  19. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  20. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  21. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
  22. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
  23. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  24. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  25. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  26. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  27. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  28. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
  29. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
  30. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
  31. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.