FRIDAY FUNNY: The Laws of Life
This Friday Funny comes from Peter SJF Bance.
Law of Two Tools
You only need two tools in life – WD40 & duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD40.
If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape.
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (so true; happens in checkout lines too).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
When you try to demonstrate how something works to someone, it won’t.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the length of the reach.
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about (often used by all levels of management).
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.